Friday, February 23


Within minutes of posting my entry yesterday, , my mood changed from being feeling on top/feeling great to feeling low in more like agitated/annoyed feeling. It was later on I realized it's because I saw someone I really don't care to see.  I became aware of my "attitude/feelings" afterwards and looked within why I felt the way I did.

I saw that I needed to have a plan B or maybe even a C (Plan A is to avoid people/events/things that "triggers" my unpleasant mood/emotion that is VERY quick to anger and change without thinking) so that my outburst (anger, annoyed, sadness, agitation, yelling...) becomes less and less specially to unnecessary ones. 

While I was in my "low" mood, no one can really paint my face  because it gotten all wrinkled from looking like a madman. So, I realized that I need to have a good face upfront even behind it is the opposite. But I'm sure it'll be seen in my body language. One can easily read me through my body language and tone of my voice. You see, I can't just fake anything in front of a person.

I've been having my crying spells these past week. Everyday I'd be doing something then all of the sudden I just wants to bawl my eyes out. I almost did when my husband and I were at the church for Ash Wednesday. The minister said something that just touch my heart; tears quickly started pouring down, luckily I had a tissue in my purse. But I had to control myself from sobbing.

He said: "It is not about what others see or what one (we ) see. What matters is what God sees, and what he sees within us."

Last night my daughter and I bonded. She talked about & showed me her dance moves and song lyric on top of  it she also shared some favorite quotes with me. Here's one she sent me: 
"I know I Am Made Of  Mistakes, Disapointments & Failures...But I Promise You There's a Part  Of  Me Worth Keeping." -unknown-

journally yours,


luvmort said...

What was is in "Dangerous Liasions" where she says something similar.  "I stuck a fork into the back of my hand under the table and learned how to keep my face from showing the pain."  
I don't suggest anything so...radical...but, you get the gist.  

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))I am sorry that your mood kept you down and that saw someone you didnr want to see.I like what your pastor said about.Its not about what others ee or what one we see what matters is what God sees and what He sees within us.I like that,that is very true and I like what your daughter said to.Have a nice weekend.

mutualaide said...

{{{{{Wrapping my arms around you}}}}}  Yep, there are lots of things wrong with us, but if you think on that, there in lies the perfection that God sees.

So sorry you had a tough day.  May today be better for you.

amy122389 said...

My moods can go quickly like that, too.  Once I get in a negative mood, it is REALLY hard for the sun to show it's face...


lurkynat said...

I love you Gemmie Pooh
hang in there sweetie

grofsand said...

an excellent revealation here! allow me to draw you a powerful parallel...

3600 years ago in the middle of barron desert, God chooses to speak to Moses.
Interesting, God would pick a desert and a lost soul to communicate with. The Ten Commandments are formed and delivered. Moses in his last sentence, asks, "let me see your face".  God replies...(in Hebrew) "No man sees my face in lives".
The word "face" in Hebrew, means direction. What God was suggesting that no man (or woman) can live in the same way as God and continue to live as a human.
...The significance....It's an acknowledgement that we are flawed. From the lips of our Creator....we are flawed!
 We have been given every tool, every mechanism necessary to live a peaceful and harmonious life. We can't....the blue print for a truely peaceful life requires an extraordinary amount of discipline by everyone. Too many people spend their days sub consciously thinking, "what's in it for me". It then affects every action ..and for every action, there is a reaction.

Forget Plan a, B c...take a look at your "blueprint", then , move in that direction.Embrace your mistakes, as well as your accomplishments. You are the only Gem that will ever be, making you 1 in 70 billion!
Seasons change, life, don't be surprized when your moods change. You are very connected with nature and life. You should feel "tickled" with each mood swing...its your Creators way of being present without having to show his face!

Have a day filled with Peace and Harmony....smiles optional, but always admired!
Marc :)

am4039 said...

hugs to you and hope everything is ok.

princesssaurora said...

Thank you for sharing the beautiful quote from church and your daughter here!

be well,

madmanadhd said...

Thinking of you dear Gem and wishing you all the best. Emotions can flit through the brain likepictures on the TV screeen. KNow that you are valued and cared about by many.


cinisoul said...

Hey Gem

Sometimes our emotions do get the best of us, but I don't think there is nothing wrong about you getting teary eyed because of what your minister said. I get teary eyed from watching some movies. Shhh don't tell anyone, but I shed some tears when they killed Kong of in the King Kong remake.

Hey it's all good

Both of those quotes are good, especially for the mistaker (is that a word) in me.

iscribble4u said...

Having a plan A and a plan B -- and even a plan C -- is a good idea. It can save oneself from unnecessary situations that produce bad feelings. As a sensitive person driven by emotionalism, I have done this for many years.

Peace & Love,

princesssaurora said...

Thinking of you... it has been quiet!

be well,

justaname4me2 said...

I hope you are doing well!!!!! Enjoy that bonding time :o)

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today.