Within minutes of posting my entry yesterday, , my mood changed from being feeling on top/feeling great to feeling low in more like agitated/annoyed feeling. It was later on I realized it's because I saw someone I really don't care to see. I became aware of my "attitude/feelings" afterwards and looked within why I felt the way I did.
I saw that I needed to have a plan B or maybe even a C (Plan A is to avoid people/events/things that "triggers" my unpleasant mood/emotion that is VERY quick to anger and change without thinking) so that my outburst (anger, annoyed, sadness, agitation, yelling...) becomes less and less specially to unnecessary ones.
While I was in my "low" mood, no one can really paint my face because it gotten all wrinkled from looking like a madman. So, I realized that I need to have a good face upfront even behind it is the opposite. But I'm sure it'll be seen in my body language. One can easily read me through my body language and tone of my voice. You see, I can't just fake anything in front of a person.
I've been having my crying spells these past week. Everyday I'd be doing something then all of the sudden I just wants to bawl my eyes out. I almost did when my husband and I were at the church for Ash Wednesday. The minister said something that just touch my heart; tears quickly started pouring down, luckily I had a tissue in my purse. But I had to control myself from sobbing.
He said: "It is not about what others see or what one (we ) see. What matters is what God sees, and what he sees within us."
Last night my daughter and I bonded. She talked about & showed me her dance moves and song lyric on top of it she also shared some favorite quotes with me. Here's one she sent me:
"I know I Am Made Of Mistakes, Disapointments & Failures...But I Promise You There's a Part Of Me Worth Keeping." -unknown-